We moved… to California. I cant remember if I ever typed that here.
Anyway, we moved from Phx to OC in August. It has been stressful; specifically because I spent so much time planning and organizing and even, dare I say it, micro managing it and still, everything fell apart.
By everything I mean, my partner and I are reassessing our relationship. Our nearly 6 year relationship. Yea. And I started cutting again. I haven’t been able to get health care yet so all my meds ran out which means migraines and seizures weekly/daily. And I stopped watching what I was eating. I feel like I am falling apart. The relationship thing is like the topper. I have very little to control right now and all I know is we both want to be together, we both want this to work and we have both committed to doing everything we can to stay together but the constant arguing and fighting has to stop. So we sat down and made a list of absolutely everything we had fought about in the last month… it was long. But we started compromising on one item at a time. Big ones being things like how often we should have sex (TMI I’m sure) and romance/having a date night weekly with no phones/computers. Other big ones are when we are going to get married and when we get to start a family. Its only been like a day but we are both trying… I dont know what will happen… I just dont want to lose my best friend. As far as my weight… IDK… it’s good and bad. Ive sorta monitored it the last 4 ish months. As in when I feel like im gaining I weigh myself and then do a mini restrict. Right now I am sitting at 215.2 so I havent gained any weight. My goal however, is 200 by 01-01-13. Luckily we are tight on money so no eating out… and I work 8 hours a week and he works 40 a week so monitoring what I am or am not eating constantly isnt a possibility. However, I dont lie to him so if he asks I will tell him I havent ate. My goal is 1 meal a day (I have to eat with him). And I dont think Im going to focus on the calories or what exactly im eating (I eat pretty healthy anyway). I dunno, ill try it. I cant exercise much right now bc Im using my wheelchair more (like 75% of the time) bc of my lack of meds :[
I am alive. Sorry I have been so absent. It isn’t just here that I have been absent from - it’s WoW too. My hsuband and I had a few HUGE life changing events happen - the main one being that we just moved from Phx to LA on Friday!
The bad news is I have been slacking on what and how much ive been eating.
The good news is that I havent gained any weight back and even seemed to manage to lose a pound!
Still just under GW #2 and working on GW #3 again now! Putting up new measurements momentarily! <3
I have been trying to keep myself busy and away from triggering stuff. Im still watching how much I consume and such but I am trying not to count all the calories and I’m trying not to exercise more than a few times a week / measure / weigh obsessively. Ive been distracting myself by eating what I feel my body needs, working out when I have excess energy, and playing video games/hanging with friends instead of obsessing over numbers on a scale.
On that note by doing this I’ve reached my 2nd goal weight. My BMI is officially considered “over weight” instead of “obese”. Next GW in 14 pounds. Hoping to hit it by Mid August.
I didn’t weigh in last week - well I did but I didn’t chart it nor did I measure at all because I felt awful and ignoring it seemed to help (I gained a pound). This morning though I am down 3 from last week! Now to measure! <3
Hey guys, sorry I’ve been kinda MIA (thank g-d for my que lol).
I didn’t work out last week - Ethan only worked on Sat/Sun and I just had no motivation. I didn’t seat a whole lot though so i still lost weight last week (A little over 3 pounds). I worked out today (1000 cal work out) and boy am I SORE and tired now <3 But my endorphins are going and emotionally, I feel great again.
In other news Ethan and I finally decided we are moving. We need a fresh start. We need a new place to start a family, to grow old, a place with more job opportunities than AZ. So… in August-ish we are moving to Oregon with a friend (who is moving to the town we chose next month to start work). Ethan and I have a few things to get squared away out here before we can get the hell outa dodge, so to speak. We are ready for this though and it honestly can’t happen soon enough <3
I will try to post more frequently again <3 Sorry for being MIA!
An avocado 2-egg omelette with 1/4 of a mini organic watermelon & a blackberry, strawberry & banana smoothie! YUM! Calories = 402 calories total
I don’t know if we will get to go ride tonight or if we are going to hold off and try to just do a long rid tomorrow.
Ive been researching “healthy” fitness and to be considered very active all you have to do is work out 2 to 3 times a week, in fact that is what is recommended. So I was going to see how Ethan felt about doing 1 to 2 rides a week all summer (10 to 20 miles per ride) since it gets SO hot here (already in the high 90s and we should hit triple digits next week >.>). Anyhow I figure we can go out 1 or 2 mornings a week and maybe 1 evening as well - ride to dinner, go run small errands, or just ride. My goal is to log 20 miles a week and I can see that happening but not if I force myself to go out every day through the summer (5/7 or 6/7). I figure if he agrees to it I will put together a workout on the wii with biggest loser to get me through the summer and do it 3 days a week + 1 day of yoga stuffs on it. Then i am still burning mucho calories and staying active but for the MOST part it is all indoors :) we will see what he says when he gets home.
Speaking of workouts I did my crazy workout today - so that is 1250 calories in 45 minutes! Lots of strength training too! I need to reassess my workouts and caloric in take and make a plan for May. Maybe my own little challenge with objectives and such. I will think about it more.
So yea tomorrow is Monday. Weigh in day… again. I feel like my life just is a revolving door of calories, exercise, weighing, measuring, willing myself not to binge/purge, etc etc etc. I really hope Ive lost what I wanted to this week (5 pounds). Next week will be harder. No eating out (even healthy food choices)… and I have drawn up the exercise, caloric intake max’s, min. cycling miles per day, etc etc etc (my goal next week is 6 pounds which will take me to my 3rd overall GW).
I know this is a little scatter brained, sorry guys, I am all over the place tonight <3 Stay safe Lovelies!
did a 750 cal workout - it was suppose to be a rest day but I was getting andy and couldn’t take it. I didn’t do anything that when i started it I already felt soreness (like my turbo twists - I did 3 and realized that the 45 degree angle I hold my core at sits me on my tail bone and my tail bone HURTS atm). I did a lot of inner thigh stuff (2 types of squats, 3 types of kicks, etc) and some core & arm toning stuff. :) I feel better now. Wonder what Ethan wants for dinner?? That reminds me we went to the club last night, I was proud of myself 3 corona lights (300 cals total) and then we went to dennis for foodage - I let myself splurge and had hash browns, eggs, pancakes & 3 of Ethan’s onion rings - but the funny thing is… the best tasting thing was the eggs (something I am use to eating every couple days at home) and that food made me horribly sick (up every 2 hours, threw up this morning, severe stomach cramps) …I feel great …that means that even though my brain said “hey that sounds good, eat it!” my body was like “WTF?? Are you trying to kill me?? WHERE IS THE FRUIT DAMMIT!” - I can officially say Im not interested in greasy foods (aside from papa johns, BWW, & panda - thats the only food I still mentally crave… and that… I haven’t ate recently - 2 weeks for papa johns and 3 or so months for Panda, + about 3 weeks for BWW. BWW didn’t make me sick but we brought it home, I ate it slowly, stopped when I was full, and ate my share over 2 days/2 meals… I ate the pizza in severe moderation - 1 to 2 pieces a day for 2 meals over 3 days (hey, that’s severe moderation FOR ME… I usually eat 1 lg pizza in a day lol). Anyway point being …Id officially rather eat my organic fruits and veggies than fried crap (mostly) - good improvement!